Today B.K.S Iyengar turns 93. For those that are unfamiliar with this remarkable man, he is the founder of the yoga style Iyengar yoga. I have been a practitioner of Iyengar yoga for about 7 years. This style, more than any so far, has influenced my teaching, taught me how to be present in my practice and has opened me to exploring the endless possibilities of moving the yoga practice beyond the mat and into practical life.
Here is one of my favorite quotes from him:
“Change is not something that we should fear. Rather, it is something that we should welcome. For without change, nothing in this world would ever grow or blossom, and no one in this world would ever move forward to become the person they’re meant to be.”
This quote has always resonated with me because change has always been something I’ve struggled with. So when pregnant and facing major changes in my life, it was comforting to be reminded that life would not grow or blossom without accepting any major shifts.
On a daily basis, I am still faced with challenges from the dramatic changes having a child brings into my life. There has not been one aspect of my life that was not touched by becoming a mother. My relationship with my husband has deepened and I can honestly say, I see him in a different light. He is an amazing father and an incredibly supportive partner. (This is not to say, at my worst moments of sleep deprivation, I didn’t want to smother him with a pillow as he soundly slept while I was up in the wee hours of the morning breastfeeding.)
My relationship to my first child, the Prenatal Yoga Center…hehehe…, has changed. This was probably my biggest fear involving change. I have been at the helm of the studio for almost 10 years and to no longer be as actively involved was and still is very frightening for me. I often talk to the students about facing fear and discomfort and finding a way to surrender to the situation. Passing along the reigns of control to my very capable staff was a hard step to take. But as B.K.S says, change moves us forward. I could not be the mother that I want to be without stepping back from my teaching and administrative obligations.
And finally my relationship to myself has changed. I have learned to surrender my past lifestyle and personal schedule and not take myself so seriously. I have to laugh when wrestling with an active 5 month old covered in his own poop. Watching my son change day after day and having the honor to be a part of his development has made me a different and more sensitive person. While I greatly feared and resisted what the change of motherhood would bring to my life, this trajectory of parenthood is allowing me to be the person I am meant to be.
As change will continue to cross my path, I hope that I can continue to face it with hopefulness, humility and a sense of humor.
I invite the PYC community to please share and support one another with your stories of facing change and what it was like for all of you.