Recently I have been feeling uninspired and tired. As much as I love what I do (and I consider myself fortunate that I really do love my career!) I feel like I have not been putting my full passion into it the way I usually do.
I come home complaining that I want to Âget a wayÂ. I am not really sure where I want to go to since John and I are not shy about taking a vacation. But this time it feels different. I donÂt think this uneasy feeling is going to be solved by a weekend at a spa (although that does sound really pleasant!) because upon returning I am still stepping back into the role of a small business owner and need to find a way to be present and grounded amongst the chaos of daily life. Plus – how realistic is it to run off every time I feel overwhelmed! I was talking to my friend and fellow yoga teacher, Karen, about this discontent I have been feeling. Since she is the mother of two teenagers, I figured she has experienced this same thing on at one time or another. She responded, ÂAbsolutely there are times when I just want to check out. But you need to find a way to reground yourself without actually leaving.Â
So since booking a last minute vacation to the spa is out of the question, I have been exploring other ways to clear my mind and get grounded. And then it hit my like a load of bricks, meditation. I have been practicing Hatha yoga for 10 years but never really committed to a sitting mediation. The study and practice of Hatha yoga is to prepare the body to sit for mediation. For me the natural progression into mediation feels very comfortable and welcoming.
I have started to explore a sitting mediation practice. I know I should probably go study with a mediation teacher, just as I do with hatha yoga, but for now, I am just trying to find stillness within my mind and learn to just sit without feeling the need to be entertained and distracted. My practice right now is pretty basic. I have a few Sanskrit mantras that I like and repeat those or just focus on the word OM. I find that this quite time allows me to refocus and clarify my intentions for my life, my job and my relationships. It has been like taking a little vacation right in my own skin.
I am slightly embarrassed that it took my 10 years to get here, but I also believe that everything has its own schedule. Our eyes are opened to reveal what we need, when we need it (even when what we may need might have been right in front of us the whole time.)