May 13, 2007

A Mother’s Intentions

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers and expectant mothers in the world!

I just said goodbye to my mom who came down from Boston to visit for Mother’s Day. Usually I try to go home for Mother’s Day, but I am on call for a birth, so she graciously came down here. We did the typical Mother’s Day brunch and gift giving and opening of the cards…

…The Mother’s Day card…I realize I usually write pretty much the same thing every year. “Thank you so much for everything that you have done for me through the years. I know that we have had our ups and downs, but I understand that you always had the best of intentions…” that is the basic idea. And of course, my mom always responds the same way. “I hope you when you become a mother, you will learn from my mistakes.” And then we laugh, because she has been hinting for a long time that she wants a grandchild SOON!

I believe I had a pretty average childhood and teenage years. There were fights and tears and misunderstanding. I think my favorite moment was in my “gothic stage” when my mom said “Are you trying to make yourself look ugly?” And I, of course, threw a fit. In hind sight, I was a bit scary looking with the pale make up and dark lipstick.

When we choose to become mothers, we have the best of intentions for our children. We want to love them and protect them and give them the best we can. And through this desire to help guide them through life, sometimes we can get a little over zealous. My mom was a good mom and I hope that I can pass on the values she gave me, but I must admit that there is the fear that some of my personal insecurities will infiltrate my parenting and “mess up” my child. My husband always reminds me that, we all come with baggage and hopefully between the two of us we can balance out each others idiosyncrasies and our true intentions will be seen through our love and actions.

Maybe along with the college fund, I should start saving for therapist bills!

Many of you are new moms, are you the mother you thought you were going to be?



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