Balancing Motherhood with Work and Life- the Great Delusion!

When I was pregnant, I fantasized about life after baby and how it would all work out. Here is the picture I had envisioned: I would have some leisure time with our new baby- taking walks in the park and meeting other new moms. I would easily maintain my teaching schedule and presence at the yoga studio, including writing my blogs, heading up teacher training and keeping up with my general responsibilities as the studio’s owner and director. To support this fantasy, we would find a part time nanny who’s hours could match my class times. I would find a wonderful woman who works 28 hours, segmenting her time to fit my specific schedule. I thought- great, this is all going to work out, I can easily manage motherhood and work. On paper, everything was perfect!

Fast forward - the baby is is no longer a fantasy, but a real baby! My maternity leave is long over and the work I thought I could neatly fit neatly into those several shifts a day does not fit! I did not take into account things like going to a yoga class or to the gym, showering, eating, breastfeeding or pumping. It’s been months since I saw the dentist. I am forever trying to find the balance between feeling like I am giving my son enough attention, yet still fulfilling my role at work. While I may be judged for saying this, I am surprised how much I truly love spending my time with my little guy. He makes me laugh and light up inside. I thought it would be easier to separate work from home life. When I am at work, I am missing my son and longing for that time with him. When I am at home, I feel I should be putting more effort into my work.

I recently met up with a few other working moms for an afternoon drink. I must say, I was never a big daytime drinker, but these mom meet ups tend to bring out my inner beer lover. WHICH, is good for breastmilk supply (Ok, I digress!). These working mothers either have full time help or day care. When I ask them if their work life has changed, they answer with a simple “yes.” While their careers are still important to them, they explained there is less desire to stay late or put in extra effort. At the end of their work day, they want to get home to see their child. They also feel that their “time for themselves” happens while they were away from their child at work, leaving little time for other needs to be met. One mom confessed that she feels guilty about getting a babysitter during the weekend since most of her week is already spent away from her child.

So here lies the eternal question- how do you balance work, life and motherhood?! One of my closest friends, who is in a similar work situation as me (she works for herself), explained that there is a certain level of acceptance to being out of balance at times. In the past she would strive to give 100% to her work and home life, and now 80% at work will just have to be enough. The house may not always clean, more meals are being ordered, and there is true beauty in ordering groceries online. My friend manages her time the best she can by not taking on more then she can handle, and knowing that each day’s balance will be different. Some days are more work oriented, and other days are all about her child and family.

So while striking that perfect balance between work and motherhood remains a great fantasy I long to achieve, I must settle for doing the best that I can. I am learning the great skill of multi-tasking and prioritizing. As I sit here and type, I am giving myself an at-home facial made from the left over avocado and banana from Shay’s dinner!

I would love to hear the stories of the other mothers out there that face these same challenges. Please share your wisdom!

2 comments February 23rd, 2012

Are You Getting The Right Nutrition While Breastfeeding?

I found that a great deal of attention and information was given to me while pregnant about receiving proper nutrition. However, upon entering the postpartum phase, all I heard was “make sure you get enough water to compensate for the fluids lost while breastfeeding.” But besides the reminder to hydrate well, very little was discussed about what other nutrients were needed for supporting my milk producing body.

Since I was exclusively breastfeeding, I did experience the “breastfeeding weight loss” and noticed a drop in dress size pretty quickly. I also noticed that between breastfeeding and getting my little one down for a nap or even out the door for a walk, I had little time left to focus on my own food intake. I was joking with friends that the reason new moms lose weight is because we don’t have time (or a free hand) to feed ourselves! But laughing aside, I did start to notice that I was neglecting my own diet. I was grabbing whatever was in the fridge, specifically those things that could be eaten with one hand. I even started substituting Larabars for meals every now and then.

My diet started to concern me. Was I getting the right nutrition to support myself and my breastmilk?
I knew that breastfeeding mothers need on average 300-500 extra calories a day. The La Leche League cautions new mothers to approach this increased caloric intake with healthy dietary guidelines in mind. For example, the extra calories should from nutrient-dense foods such as fruits, veggies, complex carbs and protein, not empty calories from sugary treats. As for protein, the basic rule is to eat 1 gram of protein each day for every pound you weigh.

Wow, that is a lot of protein per day! Knowing I do not get over 100 grams of protein a day, I was getting concerned that the quantity and quality of my milk was going to suffer. Thankfully, some research findings eased some of my concerns. In recent years, research has confirmed that even if some nutrients are missing in a woman’s daily diet, she will still produce milk that will help her child grow. There is very little difference in the milk of healthy mothers and mothers who are severely malnourished. For example, if a mother’s diet is lacking in calories, her body makes up the deficit, drawing on the reserves laid down during pregnancy or before. Unless there is a physical reason for low milk production, a woman who breastfeeds on cue will be able to produce enough milk for her baby, regardless of what she eats. Basically, the malnourished mother’s body will still produce good milk, but at the cost to the mother, whose nutritional needs will go unmet.

Even though research suggests that I don’t have to worry about the quantity of my milk supply, it is still important to replenish the nutrients lost while breastfeeding. For those who like to follow guidelines to help establish a healthy diet, the US Department of Agriculture released a suggested food pyramid for breastfeeding mothers. My Pyramid Plan for Moms maps out a clear selection of healthy foods that support breastfeeding mothers. You can even get a plan designed just for you and your lifestyle. Go to www mypyramid.gov/mypyramidmoms The suggestion My Pyramid Plan offers seem quite reasonable to follow. For example, they focus on 5 different food groups; fruits, vegetables, whole grains, meats and beans and dairy with realistic intake from each group, like 2 cups of fruit a day or 3 cups of veggies. To get an idea of what that would look like in a daily diet, 1 medium grapefruit equals 1 cup or 1 large sweet potato equals 1 cup.

From the food pyramid, you will notice two things. One- there is not a category for nutritional supplements. Assuming you are getting all your nutrition from food, you may not need additional vitamins. (Although many women do continue to take their prenatal vitamins postpartum.) Lana Levy, founder of Just For Today Nutrition states, “Dietary supplements can improve milk quality and quantity in women that are malnourished; however, a balanced diet without excessive supplementation is the best way to ensure good milk. Vitamins that are taken in excess are excreted in the urine anyway, so don’t waste your money!”

The second observation is, 1/5 of the pyramid is taken up by animal protein, and for those that are vegan, 2/5 of the pyramid would be excluded. Nutritionists urge vegetarian and vegan mothers to make sure they are getting enough b12, calcium and zinc which are generally found in dairy products, meat, fish and eggs. To get adequate b12, try fortified soy milk and fortified yeast or b12 supplement. Calcium is abundant in dark leafy greens, almonds, calcium-enriched tofu, and blackstrap molasses. Zinc can be found in spinach, pumpkin seeds, yeast, wheat germ, peanuts, beans, and bran cereals.

I hope this has clarified supportive nutritional needs for those that choose to breastfeed. As for my own time management/eating schedule, I try to have a bowl of almonds handy, along with yogurt packs and instant steel cut oatmeal to hold me over until my son is calmly playing or napping. Then, I can have a proper meal. I figure, as long as I am making healthy choices in my “quick bites” my body and my baby will be just fine.

Resources
1.http://www.llli.org/nb/nbmarapr04p44.html Maternal Nutrition during Breastfeeding by Sheri Lyn Parpia Khan
2.http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/breastfeeding/a/nursingdiet.htm
3. www mypyramid.gov /mypyramidmoms
4. http://blisstree.com/live/breastfeeding-for-vegetarians-101/
5. http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/5000/pdf/5573.pdf
6. http://www.nal.usda.gov/wicworks/Topics/BreastfeedingFactSheet.pdf
7. http://www2.pricechopper.com/kids/serving.pdf

Add comment February 20th, 2012

Relax into the Restorative Pose!

The average pregnant woman is very capable of a doing a challenging asana practice that can build confidence and stamina. However, it is important to strike a balance by also practicing gentler, more restful poses that teach her how to soften and surrender when she needs to relax. Perhaps one of the greatest benefits of quieter, restorative poses is that they offer the mother time to be with her baby, listen to her baby and to her own body and, if anything, the opportunity to gain a greater understanding of her inner thoughts and feelings.

Some of the other wonderful benefits of restorative poses include:
• Helps reduce stress
• Slows the heart rate
• Lowers blood pressure
• Slows the breathing rate
• Increases blood flow to major muscles
• Reduces muscle tension
• Reduces hypertension
• Renews energy
• Helps concentration
• Quiet time with baby!

Here are some yummy restorative poses the can be adjusted for all three trimesters.

Supta baddhakonasa (Reclined Goddess Pose)
We usually start with this restful pose at the beginning of the class. Place two blocks on the mat, the first on the medium facet and the second on one the highest. Place the bolster over the blocks forming a comfortable back rest which should be about a 45 degree angle. Also, have several blankets available, one or two for knee support and two additional ones for forearm support. Bring the soles of the feet together and then either place one blanket under each knee, or make a longer roll and wrap it around the ankles and under the shins. It is also nice to place a trifolded blanket under the forearms to add a little extra support.

Keep in mind with these reclining poses, it is important to have the lower back well supported. You do not want an excessive lumbar arch when reclining. So when reclining back, make sure the lower back is snug up against the bolster.

Legs Up the Wall
This pose is particularly good if the mother is experiencing any edema in the legs or feet, suffers from varicose veins or her legs are just feeling tired.

If the mother is still comfortable with legs up the wall, place a bolster under the hips so that she is not lying flat for a prolonged period of time. The bolster should be placed so that the sitting bones are just hanging off the bolster. This also creates a nice gentle chest opening pose.

Legs Up the Wall

Half Legs Up the Wall aka- Single Leg Drain
This pose is an option for those that can no longer lay on the back, but still offers the wonderful benefits of having the legs elevated. It is done with one leg up the wall while in a somewhat side lying pose and the bottom leg gently bent in the torso.

“V” legs Up the Wall
If neither of the two previous “legs up” options work for the mother, the “V” leg up the wall pose may be a solution. Take the same bolster/block set up as supta badhakonasana and place the bolster about 1 ½ to 2 feet away from the wall. The distance will need to be adjusted depending on the height of the woman. Then in a reclined position, bring the legs up the wall. This forms a “V” like shape in the body offering elevated legs and chest. (This is a good option if the mother wants to elevate her legs, but she is experiencing acid reflux and can’t have her head below her heart.)

Supported Child’s pose
Some mothers prefer to rest in a long child’s pose if she feels a lot of pressure or discomfort in her lower back or suspects her baby is in the posterior position. To do this pose, simply take a wide knee child’s pose and place a bolster under the head or even further down, under the under chest and head.

Tarasana with Block Under Head
It can be very restful to allow the forehead to rest on something. This takes pressure and strain off the neck while aiding in quieting the mind. In this pose, the feet are further away from the groin, decreasing the bend in the knees and one or two blocks are placed in front of the feet. An individual’s flexibility and the size of the belly will determine how to use and place the blocks. Most women in their third trimester are not bending forward too easily, so two blocks may be needed. Or another option is to place a bolster on top of two blocks and create a little “altar” to rest on. *Remember moms with sacroiliac issues, place a block or rolled blanket under the knees in this pose.

Eye pillow or Head Wrap
Incorporating the use of an eye pillow or a head wrap can help relieve tension and promotes the withdrawal of the outer senses and stillness in the mind. In yoga we refer to this as pratyahara. By utilizing an actual object to help withdraw the senses, the eyes, which are often expressive and focused outward, are now encouraged to focus inward. If you choose to use a headwrap, do not wrap too tightly and draw skin of forehead down, not up.

Hopefully, these restorative poses can allow the mother-to-be a little quiet time to rest, renew and restore her energy.

1 comment February 10th, 2012