Ina May Gaskin writes in her book, Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, “Let your monkey do it” (pg 243). By this, she goes on to explain, she means that “Letting the primate in you do the work of labor is a short way of saying not to let your over-busy mind interfere with the ancient wisdom of the body” (pg 242).
Last night I was invited to be part of my first home birth. I have attended over 50 births to date, but they were all in hospital settings. So when Rebecca asked me to be her doula for her planned home birth, I jumped at the chance! What I witnessed and experienced was truly different from what I have been part of in the past.
When I arrived at Rebecca’s house at 11:30 in the evening, she was in labor, kneeling on a futon mattress set up next to the birthing tub in the living room. Albert, her husband, was setting out some food and had made a big pot of porridge for Rebecca to eat throughout labor. There was music playing, soft lighting and essential oils wafting through the air. It was a warm, inviting and peaceful setting.
Soon Matine, the midwife, arrived. She said hello and quietly set up her stuff. After that, she was present, watchful and helpful when needed. Matine every so often checked the baby’s heart rate with a Doppler scope, but didn’t check for dilation until well into the morning. She later explained that she only checked because she needed to give her midwife partner, Karen, enough time to get there. Otherwise, she said that there would be no reason to check. It was obvious from how Rebecca was moving that things were progressing nicely.
Rebecca courageously committed to letting her “inner monkey” come out. She moved instinctually, opened her body through the mantra “OPEN” and was free to let her baby and body do whatever was needed. At one point Rebecca stated, “I feel lost”. Martine replied, “How do you feel lost?” Rebecca explained, “I don’t know what I need to be doing.” “You don’t need to do anything except what you are doing. Don’t over think this,” said Martine. And for the rest of the midnight hours, Rebecca did exactly that. When she had the urge to walk, we would hold hands and walk up and down the hall. When she needed to be close to the ground, she got on all fours and rocked and swayed and moved how her body instructed her to do. She felt freedom to open her mouth to release tension through lion’s breaths and connect to her low open pelvis through chants of “OPEN”.
When it came time to push, it wasn’t determined by someone coming in and checking and declaring, “OK, you are fully dilated. Time to push!” Instead, she transitioned into the birthing tub, moved around and investigated ways that best suited her needs. Soon, the urge to push just appeared. Without instruction, bright lights, counting, and commotion, Rebecca found a way to push her beautiful baby girl out into the world.
This particular birth experience revealed to me not only a different side to birthing, but a different perspective of the doula’s role. Normally, a big part of my job is to help the couple negotiate with the hospital staff and explain the basic risks versus benefits of different interventions. This time, that aspect was removed, and one of my main contributions was to just watch and be present. I stepped in when Rebecca needed a gentle touch, a hand to hold, or a soft voice to remind her she was perfect just as is. And stepped away when she didn’t need me or when she and her husband needed time together. Rebecca’s primal instinct was our true leader on this journey. And it led her and her baby well.
Thank you, Rebecca, for being brave enough to expose your inner primate and for reminding me how beautiful birth can be.
Birth of Selena Click to see a picture of Rebecca immediately after the birth of her daughter in the birth tub.
November 26th, 2007
Last Saturday night, my husband and I went out with some friend who had just purchased a new car. I commented that it seemed rather spacious as the 4 of enjoyed moving through the city in our own transportation escaping our usual mass transit experience. Franny remarked back, that when they have both the car seats installed and her mother-in-law in the back seat, it is really pretty cramped.
We all laughed as we recalled our childhood car experience. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that any child under 40 pounds ride in a car seat. They also suggest using a booster seat for any child under 4′ 9″ of height. I am only 5′ 2″, so presumably I would have been strapped into my booster well into my teen age years. This probably would have set me up for some very cruel remarks from my friends. Plus how would my mother have car pooled all of us around? Come to think of it, my grandmother was only 4′ 8 ” tall, should we have strapped her into a booster seat at 99 years of age?
As we slowly moved through traffic along 9th Avenue we started recounting our childhood memories about safety. None of us had worn a helmet bike riding or skate boarding. I have a very clear memory of the first time my training wheels were removed and I went zooming around our circle on my own two wheels. That is, until I panicked and forgot how to stop and went crashing into my lawn to cushion my fall. We were also belly sleepers back then and were not introduced to the world of hand sanitizers.
This of course led into the subject of vaccinations. When my friends and I were born in the early 70’s, we were subjected to only a small handful of required vaccinations. Now children are subject to 37-50 vaccination shots during their early formative years. Currently, in a Washington DC school district, parents are being jailed or fined $50 a day for not giving their children the chicken pox and hepatitis B vaccination. I personally am a little wary of the increased amount of vaccinations that are now required for children. I am also aware of the argument of “vaccinating your child will help protect the health of others.” But when a vaccine for chicken pox is required to enter school, I think we have gone too far! Yes, the chicken pox are uncomfortable and itchy, but do we really need to require people to put more chemicals and medications into the bodies of babes! When does a parent get the choice of “informed consent”? At this time, the only ways to be exempt from vaccinations is to have a note from your doctor stating that the vaccination will give an allergic reaction to the child, or claim religious or philosophical reasons. I truly feel for the parents that are put in the situation of choosing between their child’s education and their personal beliefs and values.
As our society continues to venture forward and set guidelines for how we can make our lives happier, healthier and safer, it has become abundantly clear to me…ANY OVER 30 SHOULD BE DEAD!
November 20th, 2007
I was just looking over my pages of notes from my trip to the Farm Midwifery Center in Summertown, Tennessee, and I got caught up in my notes about the Amish births.
Near Summertown is a very large Amish community. Many of the Amish births are attended by The Farm Midwives. The midwives shared some wonderful stories about these births. Before I go into them, I have to admit, I really knew very little about the Amish (and there is still a lot to learn), but I found out that many of them in this community have HUGE families- 15, 16, 17(!) children!!! And many of them birth at home. (No, this is not going to be another blog entry where I get on my soap box about home birth.)
So what is it about these women that birthing comes so easily to them? Well, Pamela, our main teacher, shed some light on this subject. She said they don’t fear childbirth. It is as simple as that! With such large families and such a close community, some one is always pregnant or in labor. Children see this natural process on a daily basis. (Well, maybe not daily, but pretty damn often with 17 children in a family!) Also, they also are not exposed to the American culture of fear and uncertainty around childbirth. The Amish children don’t grow up not fearing that there is something wrong with their bodies and or that they are not incapable of a normal birth.
Pamela also brought up the point of feeling very safe with their one’s position in life. These Amish women do not have to fear that they will not being be supported, or, that their husbands will see them differently, or that someday they will leave them. They know that they are protected and cared for. That knowledge of comfort and trust may make a difference.
Last week I was talking in class about the “Fear, Tension, Pain Cycle.” The natural response to fear is tension, which tightens the body and causes more discomfort. From the heightened pain, we have more fear, more tension, more pain…Do you see where I am going with this?? So the Amish don’t have the fear, ergo, no tension, no pain. Pamela told us a story of one of her Amish clients leaning forward, holding on to a table and letting out a small grunt. That was her only sign of labor and the woman was not long from pushing!
There are many options for pain relief in our modernized society. I invite you to explore the option of identifying your fears and conceptions of childbirth. Just simply acknowledging and expressing your fear can be hugely empowering and may demystify the experience for you. Just last week my doula client said after her birth, “I thought it was going to be so much worse! That really wasn’t that bad.”
November 8th, 2007
