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Archive for May, 2007
My journey into this career was quite unexpected. I became a doula after a student, an OB doing her fellowship at a NYC hospital, invited me to observe birth. Having not given birth myself, I was very curious to see it first hand. At that time my experience of birth was all text book information, friends stories and movies. After 12 hours on the labor and delivery floor, my eyes were wide open to the over medical and isolated way we birth in this country.
The turning point came while watching a scared mother delivery her first child with a shell shocked husband by her side. The medical team was quick and efficient and after a vacuum birth, the little baby boy was born. The baby was not brought directly to the mothers chest, instead they suctioned him and placed him under a heater. The mom and dad disheveled by the commotion were in a state of surprise and paralyzed. The new little being was alone. As a very innocent and out of place bystander, I decided to stand by this new little soul. Someone had to be with him. Even though I didnt pick up the baby, I figured my presence would be helpful for this child.
I went home that day realizing I need to do more than just teach prenatal asana in the class room. I wanted to be an advocate for women as they birth. In class we focus on finding strength in the pose for mental and physical stamina. We look to build confidence through our own inner wisdom to birth freely. As a doula, I can take this work to the next step. I can remind the moms of their innate power and help them through the arduous hours of labor.
My job as a doula is not to have the birth I want, but to help the mother have the birth she wants. I offer them continuous physical as well as emotional support and help with pain management techniques. I am available to explain the pros and cons of procedures to the best of my ability and reassure them that labor is progressing normally. Sometimes I am just there to offer a hand for holding or massage. Most importantly I am there to be present, attentive, encouraging and supportive.
Of course having a doula present does not mean that the magic wand will be waved and everything will turn out alright. The very nature of birth is unpredictable and often does not go as planned. Labor can be long or even surprisingly quick and sometime complications arise. Having a constant, supportive figure that is not emotionally involved like the father, can be a very grounding force.
My own life has been greatly affected by this occupation. There is nothing more real to me than the life altering experience of birth. Even when the journey stretches into the early hours of the morning and many cups of coffee have been consumed, the hours can fly by unnoticed. There is an immediacy and impermanence to the fleeting moment. The complete focus on the breath make it impossible to be any place other then in the present moment. As a yoga practitioner, I embrace the opportunity to be fully alive, aware and present. Who would have thought this is where I would find that experience! And that the students I teach in class would become my teachers in life!
I find that these women inspire me in the choices I make. Whether it be something as arbitrary as holding a yoga pose for longer then I care to, or making tough decisions, I think of my clients and how they pushed through the painful contractions and were brave in their choices and this helps me continue my own personal struggles.
May 30th, 2007
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers and expectant mothers in the world!
I just said goodbye to my mom who came down from Boston to visit for Mother’s Day. Usually I try to go home for Mother’s Day, but I am on call for a birth, so she graciously came down here. We did the typical Mother’s Day brunch and gift giving and opening of the cards…
…The Mother’s Day card…I realize I usually write pretty much the same thing every year. “Thank you so much for everything that you have done for me through the years. I know that we have had our ups and downs, but I understand that you always had the best of intentions…” that is the basic idea. And of course, my mom always responds the same way. “I hope you when you become a mother, you will learn from my mistakes.” And then we laugh, because she has been hinting for a long time that she wants a grandchild SOON!
I believe I had a pretty average childhood and teenage years. There were fights and tears and misunderstanding. I think my favorite moment was in my “gothic stage” when my mom said “Are you trying to make yourself look ugly?” And I, of course, threw a fit. In hind sight, I was a bit scary looking with the pale make up and dark lipstick.
When we choose to become mothers, we have the best of intentions for our children. We want to love them and protect them and give them the best we can. And through this desire to help guide them through life, sometimes we can get a little over zealous. My mom was a good mom and I hope that I can pass on the values she gave me, but I must admit that there is the fear that some of my personal insecurities will infiltrate my parenting and “mess up” my child. My husband always reminds me that, we all come with baggage and hopefully between the two of us we can balance out each others idiosyncrasies and our true intentions will be seen through our love and actions.
Maybe along with the college fund, I should start saving for therapist bills!
Many of you are new moms, are you the mother you thought you were going to be?
May 13th, 2007
Hello World!
My name is Deb Flashenberg and I am the Director and Owner of the Prenatal Yoga Center. I thought I would start off by explaining my intention for this blog. I am here to talk about my experiences in the prenatal yoga community, the students experiences on and off the mat, life as a studio owner and doula and even my own journey to motherhood.
(To be honest, my husband, the guy who created this whole website, thought this would be a good idea. I have never even been on a blog before…so please bare with my rookie mistakes.)
I guess like Maria Von Trapp sang “Let’s start at the very beginning. A very good place to start!”… I started taking yoga on and off for several years before I truly plunged into it. I had moved to New York to pursue a career in musical theater (hence the tribute above to The Sound of Music) and a choreographer used the Bikram yoga series as out warm-up for the rehearsal. A friend of mine then introduced me to the owner of the Bikram Yoga NYC studios and I started taking there regularly. About a year and a half later, I decided to get certified in Bikram Yoga. It didn’t take long for me to realize, that was not the style that I wanted to continue to teach.
After class one day, one of the teachers mentioned getting certified in prenatal yoga. That idea intrigued me. I started researching the best prenatal yoga teacher trainings. The one that looked the most thorough was at the Seattle Holistic Center with Colette Crawford. So I packed up and headed out West. When I came back I started teaching prenatal yoga out of a small room in the Bikram NYC Studio on the Upper West Side. I started with 2 classes a week and the room fit only 6 students. (Amazingly enough, I still teach some of my original students. I was even the doula to one of them!) Anyway - by the time I was told that the small room I was renting was being transformed into a dressing room, I was up to 6 classes a week and squeezing 7 students in the miniscule room.
Well, the obvious choose for me was to rent a bigger space. I found a partner to go in on this adventure with me and within a few months the Prenatal Yoga Center was born! My business partner didn’t last long. Within the first year of opening the studio - she headed off to India. Luckily, I had the support of my husband and the inspiration of my students. The studio really organically grew. I don’t have a business background - (I went to the Boston Conservatory and have a BA in Musical Theater!) but I believe in following common sense, respecting my students and teachers and offering the best possible service I can. I also think it helps that I truly stand behind what I teach.
It has now been over 6 years since I taught my first prenatal yoga class. In that time I went on to becoming a certified doula through DONA and a certified Lamaze childbirth educator. Hopefully soon, I will be adding “new mother” to my evolution.
Running a business has its challenges, but it is completely worth it when I run into students at Fairway or anywhere on the street and they tell me that their births were empowering and fulfilling and that their classes at the studio added to that experience.
May 6th, 2007
